Okay

Okay I'm giving it a try. Jumping back in. I might as well do the next two months and then if I want to start over I can...

I'll be in Washington DC for the next 9 days - but staying with very healthy eating people so my diet will be easy and they have a big house with lots of room to work out. Fun! Let's hope I make it back onto solid ground.

I will try to blog but not sure how much I can use their computer.

lost

Okay. I am really lost. I was on vacation this past week, and had a bad cold. So I hardly exercised, didn't have a computer to blog on, and was eating at someone else's house. I am basically not doing this program.

One possibility is that I might just start over again. Start with day one and just do it kind of on my own. I get that its not the same group feeling as PCP, and that might be good as I haven't kept up with the group or the plan. I depended too much on our PCP group - but it was really good for motivation. Can I motivate from the inside? So far, no. NO! Time to face myself.

Not sure what to do. Lost.

Day 16 17 18

A bit confused about what day we're on.

Well honestly I'm feeling a bit disconnected. I threw myself into it last week but the weekend get so busy -- I didn't jump Sun or Mon - driving much of Monday to New Jersey. Did the exercises last night. But it feels like we as a group aren't really watching each other. Maybe it is a different energy in Kung Fu than PCP? PCP was so new and kind of dramatic. Our group posted almost every day and we left comments on each others blogs. I wonder if seeing the weekly pictures wasn't also kind of bonding. But maybe this is simply a more individualistic kind of experience. What are the rest of you feeling?

I just did jumping and now am headed out for a walk.

Day 15 Wow

Okay today was important.

Today I stopped worrying about whether I was going to make it to the end of each set. Instead I was focused on my body. I know this sounds obvious. But I remember now that I had the same shift in PCP. It was about a month and a half in!! This time it only took two weeks.

Before the workout I took time to read through all Patrick's instructions and watch the videos again on stances, kicks and so on. I also looked at a couple of his Youtube videos - the core video is especially interesting. Then I remembered to bow. (In fact I put a few extra bows in -- one between each section and before I meditated and after!!!) Focusing and in fact bowing to my own body.

I have been focused on "getting through" the set. This is similar to how I live my life. I've got to get through the day, get through the week, get through this section of my life. Obviously I fight this and make efforts (like this program) to be in the moment. So I'm very pleased that today I stepped into the moment.

This shift allows me the opportunity to see (as PCP taught me) that reaching the fatigue point is a way of learning about myself and my body. Instead of seeing it as a big failure and myself as a big slob, today I welcomed the message from my muscles that we were at our limit. Huh, I thought, that's interesting information.

After the pushups and plank - which are very challenging for me even at this low level - I instinctively went into the child's pose. Almost like my body/myself choose to comfort for a moment after feeling exhausted. That was great.

I also put the wide angle forward bend in at the end of stretching. I can get my elbows and hands on the floor. But not my head. Not yet. When I was younger I could put my head easily on the floor. Interesting.

Okay all. I'm off to make a breakfast of Huevos Rancheros -- I highly recommend it!

Onions and tomatoes, in a little olive oil on low heat for a long time.

With chipolte peppers. Not too many or it is too hot.

Then throw one corn tortilla in and an egg. Pour a little water in. Put lid on skillet to let steam.

Yum.

In

Today I actually stepped into the journey of Kung Fu. The past two months have been very tough for me personally. The choice to enter this journey with you all was intellectual - a choice that I felt would be "good for me." For the past two weeks I have been going through the motions, with as little effort as I could, because I felt I have so little energy. Today I woke up and for the first time in a long time I felt that I could begin again.

So I did the exercises and the meditation with my whole heart - pushing my body to its weak limit - feeling each moment and stretch and effort and I was in. In the moments. Not suspended and watching myself.

Whew. I am tired and proud.

So I am now -- in.

Hi.

Day 9 10 11

Been out of town and away from a computer for 3 days. Lovely little vacation.

Did pretty well with diet (asian restaurants) and was able to jump in the hotel workout room.

Quick post... more later.

No pizza by the way.

Day Ate

Ate well today. Very taken by Huevos Rancheros without cheese. Lots of chipolte peppers. Lots of onions and tomatoes and an egg.

Just finished exercises. Very bad at jumping. It's been a long day. Up since 6 and lots of non stop. Sunday can never seem to jump first - which is the way I managed to deal with it during pcp. Jump first, live through day, do exercises.

The Stress Movie: (streaming on Netflix) "National Geographic: Stress: Portrait of Killer."

Kind of a stressful title if you think about it. But good and ultimately inspiring.

Confession. Last night watched an old Star Trek movie with my son and ate THREE PIECES of PEPPERONI PIZZA. I was hoping that I would feel dreadful or that it would not taste good. Like our indulgences on PCP but clearly I have not purified myself enough again this time. I do eat well, much better now, but still I strayed away from the pure clean food - and was back to some cheese and sugar. So I have to say the pizza was simply heavenly. Oh My God.

Ah that way madness lies - like King Lear said in the storm.

Go the other way.

Alright everyone. Carry on Fuing and Kunging.

Deb